2025 Year-End Reflection - I always get up to see what’s next.

Preface

Today is the last day of 2025, a time to look back and reflect on the growth and changes of this past year.

I used to think that once I reached a certain stage in life, things would gradually settle down. While I looked forward to that stability, I also felt a vague sense of pressure and anxiety deep in my heart. But every year, as I look back on the past year at the end of the year, I realize that life doesn’t always play out as expected—the experiences of this year were ones my past self could never have imagined. I gave up my plan to study abroad in 2024, simply because I’d made hasty plans for the future; I returned to network technology and took two CCIE exams—each costing $1,600; In August 2025, I embarked on a study abroad program overseas, experienced cultural clashes, and—through both setbacks and serendipitous encounters—gained clarity on the life I want and the direction I should pursue.

There are setbacks from rushing to succeed, regrets from giving up halfway, and the sweet reward that comes after gritting your teeth and persevering. Just like the belief conveyed in the theme song “Try Everything” from Zootopia—that inner voice hidden within the journey of growth: “I always get up to see what’s next.”

I won’t give up, no, I won’t give in

Til I reach the end, and then I’ll start again

No, I won’t leave, I wanna try everything

About 2025

2025 was a “gap year” for me; I experienced the helplessness and confusion of a fallen leaf adrift in the wind. Faced with the uncertainty of the future, I ultimately decided to withdraw from the 2024 study abroad program in cybersecurity. Amidst this confusion, I chose to transition by working intermittently and pursuing professional certifications, hoping to meet more people through my studies and brief stints at work, and to find new perspectives on life through different viewpoints.

The start of the year marks the beginning of my gap year. I originally thought it would give me a brief respite. But maintaining a part-time status over the long term actually requires tremendous courage. During the Lunar New Year, when visiting family and friends, I faced inquiries from relatives and acquaintances with stable jobs. Even though I knew they were asking out of concern, those “strange” looks still made me feel immense pressure. In a cultural context where taking a gap year isn’t common in China, this pressure became an ever-present source of distress. Friends around me often lamented that work in recent years has been fraught with uncertainty—we’ve lost a great deal but gained very little—yet we feel powerless to fundamentally change the status quo.

My goals at the start of the year were clear and passionate; I even incorporated running into my daily routine. Back then, I always felt that only by charging forward without pause could I make the most of my time.

But life’s uncertainties are always present. Starting in the middle of the year, a complex workload and sudden, trivial matters repeatedly disrupted my rhythm. My running plan has been stuck around a half-marathon time of 145, and my progress since then has been far less significant than before. Looking at the long-unupdated workout records on my phone, I’m filled with self-reproach, always feeling that “once I stop, all my previous efforts will have been for nothing.”

In my spare moments, I read classics like Border Town, Fortress Besieged, and The Little Prince, and also tried my hand at psychology books such as Zimbardo’s General Psychology and Social Psychology. At the time, I was deeply mired in restlessness and confusion, always hoping to find a solution in books that would allow me to settle my mind and move forward. But after finishing them, I realized those troubles still lingered in my heart; they hadn’t truly been resolved. It was in this state that I decided to resume my studies in network technology—hoping to find at least a little sense of certainty through focused hands-on practice and in-depth study—and set a goal to earn the Cisco CCIE certification by the middle of the year.

The Journey to CCIE Certification

March through June 2025 will bring my greatest setback.

The pain of failing the CCIE exam lingered even after I finally passed. During that time, I constantly doubted whether I’d made the right decision—after all, the $1,600 exam fee was no small sum. The internet was also flooded with comments claiming that the certification was worthless and that it wouldn’t change anything. But in the end, I chose to stay true to myself and give it another shot for my retake in June. Fortunately, as an ENTJ, I never give up—and the result was a success; I ultimately achieved my goal.

Change

I’ll wrap up the project at the end of August and begin participating in a study tour program in the Philippines—“🇵🇭 Philippines: A Three-Month Study Abroad Experience at Philinter」

Looking back on 2025, from the initial confusion and uncertainty during my GAP year, to the ups and downs of preparing for the CCIE certification, to the brand-new beginning of my study abroad program in the Philippines—every step was far from easy, yet each one was filled with genuine growth. Those past moments of self-doubt, external pressures, and the pain of failure ultimately transformed—through my persistence and refusal to give up—into a light illuminating the path ahead. I’ve gradually come to understand that life doesn’t come with a prewritten script; it’s only through constant trial and error and steady progress that we can ultimately define our own path forward.

The keywords for 2025 were “Restart” and “Resolve,” and as 2026 approaches, I want to carry forward the courage to stand firm amid uncertainty and continue exploring more possibilities with the belief that “I’ll always get back up to see what’s next.” There’s no need to dwell on past regrets or worry about the unknowns of the future. As long as I move forward one step at a time, every time I get back up after a fall brings me closer to becoming a better version of myself.

New Year’s Wishes

I hope my family and friends will all be healthy and safe, and that my children still in school will achieve academic success; I hope I can stay true to my original aspirations, maintain a positive and optimistic outlook on life, and keep moving forward!

Next year will bring its own snow, its own mist, its own endless sunshine, and countless new beginnings. I hope to find happiness, and I hope all my worries and sorrows will vanish. I hope my wishes come true, and I hope to attain enlightenment!